It’s very exciting when you leave small town life behind and adapt to the hustle and bustle of city living. After 15 years of being away from my home town I moved back. There are benefits to being “home”: intimate knowledge of traffic patterns; family and friends who never left; lower cost of living; shorter commute to the office. But it’s not the town I left. It’s changed and not for the better. In fact, my hometown, Gardner, has experienced so much negative change that it’s one of two towns featured in WBUR’s “Towns in Trouble” series.
Listening to the WBUR segments has been a slap in the face from reality. In the first segment (link above) the current mayor referenced City Hall Auditorium. Immediately, my mind filled with memories of high school semi-formal dances, Veteran’s Day services and a host of other community functions. Now the building is a glorified storage unit. In the second segment, the focus became the Greenwood Memorial Swimming Pool. Like many of those who commented on the WBUR site, I learned to swim in that pool. I was never on the swim team, but the Gardner High School girls’ swim team won national championships each year I attended Gardner High.
As I drive through town I’m not hit with a sense of nostalgia. I’m overwhelmed with sadness. It’s sad to see that there’s no industry left to give people jobs and give them hope. Everything is run down and grimy. It’s going to take a lot of time and effort to bring Gardner back to its former glory. Gardner itself is allegory for my current living situation. My grandfather is transitioning to the latter part of his life and moved out of his house. My family moved in.
We knew there would be a lot of work to do when we agreed to rent this house. My grandfather will be 88 in November. I’ll be 32 in July. I don’t know exactly when my grandparents bought this house, but it’s where my mother and her siblings were raised for most of their lives. There’s at least 50 years worth of stuff and memories in this house.
It’s only been about a week since we moved in and already our list of home improvements is far longer than we anticipated. The carpets are worn and dingy. The kitchen cabinets are showing signs of wear. The outdoor railings are rusty and loose. The refrigerator leaks. I could go on, but I won’t. Instead we’ll fix one thing at a time, revitalizing this house. We’ll try to bring back the family traditions of Sunday coffee & donuts at Mem & Pep’s. We’ll bring another generation of aunts, uncles and cousins together, sharing our hopes and dreams, successes and let downs.
I look out into the backyard and am greeted by errant trees and un-pruned bushes. I don’t really see them. Instead, I see ghosts of the sandbox and swing set where I’d play with my cousins. I look for the dandelions and buttercups we’d pick and give to our mothers and grandmother. I see hints of the garden patch where Pep planted tomatoes and cukes. Upstairs, when I poke my head in Travis’ room to check in on him it isn’t his crib and toys that I see. I see the shadow of a young girl, excited for a sleepover at Mem & Pep’s. She’s staying up in bed, well past her bed time, a cat curled at her feet, reading Archie comic books and listening to the loud tick of the wind-up alarm clock.
I see the past and the future here. I only hope it turns out well.
